Aftermath
by ThatisneverThat
Summary: It wouldn't leave her, that phone call. The last phone call. Clara struggles to deal with the aftermath of the accident, even if everyone is telling her it will be fine.


**I was made to re-watch Dark Water and this happened.**

" _Okay, er, what are you sorry about? Could you please just pass the phone back to…" Clara said._

" _He was crossing the road. 'I found the phone; it must have just got thrown. The car, it just came out of nowhere." The woman replied. She always replied that. Her voice was engrained in Clara's mind, it wouldn't ever leave._

Clara woke with a start, her mind raging, her head pounding, her heart racing. She looked to her side, Danny wasn't there. Of course he wasn't. She sat up and stood out of bed, pacing around the bed with tears pouring down her face. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair, and why did this have to happen?! She was angry, hurt, and so tired. Clara walked over to her shelf and screamed, wiping it with her hand and watching everything fall to the floor. Her legs gave in under her, she fell down and ended up positioned against her drawers, staring at a picture that had fallen on the floor.

"Clara?!" She looked up as her Gran came in the room. She came over and knelt beside her, pulling her close. "Clara what's wrong? Talk to me." She rubbed her back gently, Clara pulled away again, looking up to her.

"What do you mean? How do you not know?! ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?!" She screamed, pulling away further in to the corner of her room.

"Clara what are you talking about? Stop this, you're hurting yourself! Clara come on dear, everything's fine. Come on just take a moment, it's all okay." Clara shook her head in disbelief, her head still screaming at her in pain. "Clara did you dream again? Think about it. Think."

"It's not okay. How can it be fine? And it wasn't a dream was it? That happened. It happened. I was on the phone and then he… I… that woman I…" She struggled to talk through the tears.

"No, keep thinking. What happened after, come on, think?" Clara stopped moving, her face blank but trying to process the information in front of her. What happened after?

 _She ran, really fast. The road was busy, so many horns and people everywhere. When she got to the tape they wouldn't let her through, the policewoman held her back. She screamed, she needed to see him, but all she could see was his shoes and the paramedics moving around him. Nobody would say if he was alive or dead, nobody seemed to know anything. The woman with the phone came over, she gave her the phone. She said something about how sorry she was again, Clara didn't listen. She held Danny's phone tight, she was crying by now._

 _The policewoman left, she went over to the paramedics. Clara took her chance, slipping under the tape and running over. They tried to stop her but she got by them all, she got by and finally made it to Danny. Then she stopped. There were so many wires and tubes attached to him, so many monitors and so many people. It was a sight nobody wanted to see, the man they loved not breathing for himself, surrounded by medical staff trying to keep him alive. One of the paramedics came over, putting an arm around her which Clara shrugged off. She wanted answers, not hugs. He gave her answers; he told her everything, exactly what they'd done and what they were doing now. She couldn't go in the ambulance; there were too many staff to go with him. But he was still alive at that point._

"He wasn't dead… they took him in…" Clara spoke out quietly, looking up to her Gran. "That was 2 weeks ago, I can't… I can't remember." She stood up, her phone was ringing. It took a moment to find. She didn't recognise the number, but she answered it.

"Good morning beautiful." The voice was a shock, so much so she threw the phone down on the bed. Clara backed off, she couldn't piece the last 2 weeks together, it didn't make sense. Her Gran picked up the phone, speaking to the man on the other end.

"I'm not sure she is, but she will be." Her Gran replied, Clara could guess the question. "It's like she can't remember you're okay, she just remembers the accident and you going to hospital but she's convinced you died and I can't change her mind." She went quiet again, the man on the other end replying. "I will do." She took the phone away from her ear and held it out to Clara.  
"Go on sweetheart, talk to him. You know who it is, he's fine." Clara shook her head, she couldn't work it out. Why didn't she remember?

 _When she got to the hospital they put her in a room. They gave her tea, but she didn't drink it. They wanted her to sit and RELAX. They wanted her to RELAX. She couldn't, nobody would tell her what was going on they just said they were working on him. After a while he went to surgery, she was still waiting. It seemed like hours, and then someone finally came – they took her to a new room. She walked through the hospital not knowing where she was going, but the new room was posher – more important.  
He was in intensive care, they said. Not stable, they said. They didn't know. Prepare for the worst they said, they couldn't give her hope. _

"No he was… they couldn't do anything they couldn't. Stop doing this to me why are you doing this to me?!" She ran out of the room and downstairs, going out in to the garden – she needed air.

"Clara!" Her Gran came down after her, concern rubbed all over her face. "Clara come on, keep thinking, keep remembering." She didn't have the phone now; she must have left it upstairs. She could feel her head pounding, the pain becoming almost unbearable the more stressed she managed to get.

"Please… no more…" Clara said as she knelt down, letting the tears fall again as she realised she'd brought the picture down with her. That's when her Gran disappeared back inside the house.

 _They let her in to sit with him and she did, she sat there for days. All the time he didn't move. Various nurses came and went, trying to persuade her to go home and get sleep, but she didn't. Nothing would make her move, always staying close to him and watching him for any sign of life._

 _She'd barely eaten for 5 days, that turned out to be a bad thing. The nurse came in that day and did Danny's observations, and then she looked at Clara. She said she was concerned, said Clara needed to go home and sleep – have a decent meal too. Of course, Clara refused again, holding Danny's hand tight. The nurse tried another tactic. She told Clara they were going to do Danny's bed bath, which was true, and said she should go to the restaurant whilst they did. Clara was reluctant, but she had to admit she needed to eat something even if she didn't really want to. Eventually she agreed._

 _The second nurse came in to help with the bed bath and Clara kissed Danny's hand gently, letting it go. She whispered to him, letting him know she wouldn't be gone long. Then she stood up, and that's the last thing she could remember. Then it was blank._

When her Gran reappeared, Clara had moved to sit with her legs pulled up to her chest, staring at the picture. She had the phone again and held it out to Clara who still refused to take it.

"There's nobody on the other end now, I just want you to look." She said, still holding the phone out to Clara. Eventually she took it, fed up of it being stuck in front of her face, but what she saw made her realise something.

"He's still alive…" She spoke, very quietly, but the picture was proof. It was dated 2 days ago; she'd obviously taken it herself. He was alive, smiling away at the camera although she could see he was still in pain. "I don't get it I… it's all black. He was in ITU and then it's all… why would I be here, why am I here if he's there? I need to go." Clara stood up, but her Gran stopped her from rushing in. "No I need to get dressed, please. Why are you stopping me?" There was true stress on her Gran's face; she was really and truly worried.

"Clara you need to look after yourself. Everything that happened in the last 2 weeks, when you came home I… we were all worried Clara. Danny was worried too." Clara thought about it, she didn't feel right, she hadn't really noticed. Then she looked at her arms - there were many bruises. What had happened, what had she been doing? Her mind was definitely blocking something out.

"Okay… okay. I'll eat. Cook me something, and then we'll go. We'll make sandwiches to take so I can eat later, and I'll be home by 11." Her gran gave her another look. "Okay, 10. I'll be home by 10. Please Gran; I can't remember anything I need to see him." She sighed, nodding. "Where's Dad?" Clara asked, suddenly realising there was no sign of him; normally he'd be round in a shot.

"I persuaded him to stay away; I can see where you get it from, he was fussing too much. I'm keeping him updated. Right, you can go, but I want you to go and shower whilst I cook. Once you've eaten, and only once you've eaten, you can go." Clara turned, hugging her before running inside and upstairs.

 _She woke up in a small room containing just her and a nurse who was stood in the corner writing something in her notes. Clara looked around, trying to remember how she'd got there, and how long she'd been there for. Then she remembered. She tried to get up, but the nurse heard her and ran over, lying her back down and speaking something about how she needed to keep her IV in and stay lying down for a while. Clara told her she needed to get back to Danny, to which she was told he was fine and she needed to calm down. That didn't calm her down, she got angry. He wasn't fine, she told them, how could he be fine when he had so many machines keeping him alive?!_

 _Then everything went dark again._

She ate everything her Gran gave her, although she really wasn't hungry. Then she was given lunch to take with her and a bottle of water too. Quite honestly she felt about 10 again, at least until she got in the car and drove herself to the hospital on the promise she'd phone at least 3 times during the day. Clara couldn't work out exactly why they were being so protective, but at least she'd escaped to go and see Danny.

It took a little while to find him, she'd forgotten to ask and she couldn't actually remember herself, but eventually she hunted down his ward and bed. He was in a side room, the door was shut when she arrived, but the nurse told her it was alright to go in. Danny was asleep, he still looked so poorly – his left arm was broken in 2 places, his right ankle was fractured too and there were at least 5 broken ribs. The bruises were all over, although they were beginning to heal now. He looked peaceful, much more than he had done in ITU.

There was a chair beside the bed that she sat in, texting her Gran to let her know she was there and okay. Whilst she was looking down at the phone she felt a hand touch her arm. Clara looked up, putting her phone down on the table and immediately taking Danny's hand, standing up.

"Clara sit down." He spoke, so she did. "You look… scared. I heard on the phone you were freaking out, what's happened? Your Gran said you couldn't remember. I told you to sleep Clara; you need to look after yourself." He was looking at her with the same look she'd seen once already today.

"I still can't really remember, but I'm okay, honestly it's just coming back slowly. The last memory I have of you is being in ITU and when I woke up I really thought… I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to scare you this morning." She smiled, kissing his hand softly. "How are you feeling? You might have to fill me in a bit more than normal." Clara leant on the edge of the bed, looking up to him and smiling.

"Much better for seeing you, especially looking a little healthier." She wasn't 100% sure what he was referring to, but that wasn't important. "I'm alright. Pain relief is a wonderful thing, and the staff have been wonderful. I can't wait to get home though; this place does get a bit boring over time." He grinned, Clara nodded. "I know you've forgotten everything, but I'm hoping you'll still let me come back to yours." Evidently she'd offered this; either that or he was taking advantage which seemed highly unlikely.

 _When she woke up again there was a doctor checking her over. Clara shrugged away, sitting back up and trying to get out the bed. Once again they tried to stop her, but she needed to see Danny. Nobody would tell her the truth about him; nobody said anything really except to tell her she needed to get back in bed. Then her Dad came in, he was telling her to lie back, that she needed looking after. He looked like he'd been crying, why had he been crying? She had to ask, but he said it wasn't important. He said he'd seen Danny, he said he hadn't changed. He said she was ill, she needed to rest, that they couldn't keep relaxing her with drugs, that the more they did it the longer she'd be kept in. He looked scared; she'd not seen him like that for so long. She finally settled._

 _She still refused to eat, she couldn't face it. Her Dad kept shouting at her, but that didn't make things any better, she just felt even less willing to do as they asked. All she could think about was Danny, she could have lost him, and she still could. Their last conversation played over in her mind, she told him she loved him, she told him nobody else would ever hear that and she truly meant that. But she didn't know what he'd heard, she didn't know if he knew that, it was all wrong – this was not what she'd planned. The post-it notes were still all over her flat, she would still tell him, she had to tell him._

 _It took 3 days before they let her go, not that they really wanted to, but she was fed up and once her Dad had gone home again, she self-discharged. Clara went up to ITU, buzzing in and going over to Danny's bed where she found a sight she had not been expecting – he was awake. She ran the last few steps, stopping at his bedside not wanting to hurt him. The nurse there smiled at her, filling her in before leaving them._

 _Danny didn't say much, but Clara sat with him as she had before, talking to him. She told him how she wouldn't leave him, how she'd look after him at her place while he got better. Danny nodded, he was still a bit groggy, but he was awake – this gave so much more hope._

"Clara?" Danny spoke up again, she'd been in a bit of a daze as the memories came back, she shook her head and apologised.

"Sorry, yes of course you can. You won't be able to be on your own for a little while, we'll make sure you're okay." She smiled, gently squeezing his hand.

"And I'll be watching you too, you can't get yourself in that mess again Clara." Danny rubbed his thumb along the top of her hand soothingly.

"What mess? I'm fine Danny, only one of us got run over by a car, only one of us nearly..." She couldn't say it. Danny squeezed her hand this time, making her look up at him. The last time she'd seen him look like this was the day he found out everything.

"You really don't remember do you?" Danny said, examining her face carefully. Clara shook her head, completely clueless.

"It's coming back slowly, but I really can't... what happened Danny? Why is everyone treating me with kid gloves? I don't understand. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself." She spoke; her words seemed to affect him somehow. Danny moved over slightly on the bed, beckoning her to join him, which she happily did.

"You just reacted badly to all this, which is totally understandable, you've had to deal with enough loss. Clara you haven't been yourself since it happened, your dad told me what happened while I was in ITU. You can't carry on like this, I won't let you." He placed his good arm around her, he felt protective, this wasn't how it was meant to be, but at the same time she couldn't refuse.

 _Less than a day after he woke and they transferred him to the ward. Clara followed, refusing to go for a recommended break. Her Dad hadn't been for a couple of days now, but when they arrived on the ward she noticed her Gran stood waiting there for her, stopping her from going in to the room with Danny. Her face fell as she saw Clara, she seemed upset. She said something about how she'd got her Dad to stay at home for a while, he'd got a little over protective, but then she could see why. Clara tried to get by, but she wouldn't let her. She got angry, shouting about how she needed to be there, she'd failed before and she couldn't leave now. Someone grabbed her arm, she didn't realise who before she lashed out, but then everything fell silent and Clara looked to see her Gran with a hand holding her cheek. Clara stood in shock. What was going on? What was thus nightmare? They wouldn't let her in, and now they were all watching her. She couldn't stay, but she couldn't go home. So she ran. She heard Danny call her, but she didn't turn back._

 _She didn't know where she ended up, but she found somewhere to hide. Eventually she pulled her phone out and dialled the one person she could think of who wouldn't treat her like a child - The Doctor._

 _He came almost straight away, and as soon as she was inside she told him to go, she didn't care where. He did as she asked, not questioning anything. At least not straight away. Eventually he spoke up, wanting to know why she'd not been in contact for a while. He told her something about some disaster he'd had to avert on his own; she wasn't really paying much attention. She didn't reply either, she just let him talk._

 _He shut up after a while, and silence fell in the room for a while, leaving Clara to her own thoughts again. The phone conversation playing over and over in her head as it constantly did, the vision of the post-it notes. How concerned she'd been about saying all that and then... That woman. Clara stood up, putting a smile on and walking over to him. She told him she wanted to go somewhere, to that park, to that day, she didn't say why. No, no she did, she told him she wanted to see a show she'd missed, she'd been nowhere near is what she said, and he seemed to believe her._

 _They went. They landed. Exactly 5 minutes before it happened. Clara ran out, she ran to the road, standing behind a tree at the edge of the road and watching. The Doctor followed - now he was questioning her reasoning for being here. Then he saw Danny walking through and he started to get angry, he started trying to pull her back to the TARDIS but she wouldn't go. As Danny got closer he started asking more questions. She wanted to scream at him, but she couldn't in case it drew attention. She told him to leave her alone, he told her he couldn't do that. He wouldn't stop asking, eventually she boiled over, pushing him away. The distraction though, she missed it. She heard the squeal of the tyres, she heard the bangs. She saw everyone running, she wanted to run, but everything went dark._

"You're remembering more aren't you?" Danny asked as she jumped a little at the new memories. Clara nodded a little, not wanting to move much in case she hurt him. "Don't worry, it's all okay. We'll be back to normal before you know it." That seemed so hard to believe, but he was right.

"I need to let Gran know I'm still alive. Do you need anything whilst I'm up?" She asked, sitting up carefully and climbing down from the bed.

"A beer would be great." He replied. Clara smiled a little and rolled her eyes. "That's much better." Danny added, smiling back at her. "You could grab some biscuits or something if you like." She nodded.

"Alright, I won't be long." Clara picked up her bag and headed outside.

 _She woke up lying on a bench in the TARDIS. The Doctor looked over at her, informing her she'd fainted but she was okay. Clara remembered what had happened, she'd failed. They were back in the hospital, he told her. She stood up, putting herself straight and thanking him before walking out. She went straight back to the ward, staff had changed over by now and her Gran didn't seem to be there which made life much easier. The nurse happily let her in and Danny seemed relieved to see her._

 _She stayed, they talked, and she tried hard to seem as calm as she could. Danny told her how worried everyone was, she told him she just needed a bit of time alone and she was fine now. They talked more; she took a photo, everything seemed happy again._

 _Visiting hours ended. She didn't want to go, she couldn't go. All she could think about was the sounds she'd heard and the pain in her chest when she was on the phone. The two together were becoming too much, they were taking over her thoughts, she tried but they wouldn't go away. Whilst she was with Danny she could at least persuade herself everything would be okay, but when she wasn't it was like the thoughts took over and she couldn't think of anything else. In all honesty she was scared of leaving, scared of what she might do, scared of what would happen if she left. The nurse was asking politely, but she pretended not to hear._

 _Danny told her next, saying he was going to sleep now anyway. She wanted to tell him, she wanted to say, but she couldn't burden him. She was getting upset, stressed, she tried to hard to hide it but she was shaking. Then he came in, the Doctor appeared. Danny looked confused for a moment, but then the Doctor told him everything. Clara tried to shut him up, but he wouldn't. Danny pulled Clara in, he tried to hug her, she resisted. She pulled away, stepping back. Danny was saying something to her but she couldn't listen, she couldn't hear anything. She had no choice, there was nothing she could do - she ran again. She heard Danny say something to The Doctor, and then he started to run after her. Clara didn't know where to go, and before she knew it she was cornered and directed to the TARDIS._

 _She fought, she didn't want to be there, she needed to be left alone. It hurt so much, the pain was more than she could ever have imagined. Everything hurt, it all hurt, nobody would listen to her. The Doctor was trying to calm her, but she just shouted at him, told him to take her back. He'd taken flight as soon as he could, stopping her from running back out again. She threatened him, she didn't really know what she was saying, she just kept going at him, storming around the room. He told her everything would be fine, something she was fed up of hearing. She went for him, her hand raised, she wasn't thinking and then… it all went black. Again._

"I'm fine Gran, honestly. Very much better than I was. I just have a question…" She sat down on one of the benches just outside the hospital, biscuits in one hand and her bag resting next to her. She knew the memories stopped there, the next thing she knew after that was waking up after her dream. She must have been asleep for over a day then, it was finally piecing together.

"Ask away dear." She answered, sounding rather tired. It must have been so hard for her, for everyone. Clara was beginning to hate herself for being so selfish.

"How did I get home? 2 days ago. How did I get home? I don't remember." It was getting cold outside; she didn't want to stay long.

"A man bought you back, the caretaker from your work? Said he'd bumped in to you, offered you a lift and you fell asleep in the car. He seemed alright, a little grumpy maybe, but he got you home so I wasn't going to complain. Then you just slept, which didn't surprise me really, you hadn't slept properly in almost 2 weeks." Clara sighed as she worked out exactly what had happened. She reached up to her neck, of course it wasn't there now, but it had been. "I'm going to have a little rest now, you get back. Don't forget to eat alright?" Clara smiled a little, thanking her as she hung up. She went to stand up but then thought of something else. She dialled another number, waiting a while for an answer.

"Clara! Ah, you're probably angry. I'm sorry, I had no choice. I…" he sounded frantic, worried about how she was going to react, pretty much as everyone else was really and she couldn't blame them.

"Relax, I'm not angry. I called to thank you." He sounded a little shocked at that, Clara could imagine his face. "You were right to do what you did Doctor. I took advantage of you, something I should never have done. I just didn't know what to do, I wanted to stop it from ever happening, I was terrified." She kept talking, no idea why she was telling him all this.

"You needed sleep Clara, and food, but I couldn't deal with both. You were not yourself, even I could see that. How are you feeling now? How's Danny?" He asked. Clara glanced at her watch, realising she had said she wouldn't be long.

"Better, thanks. A little less crazy so that's always good. Danny's okay, healing well. It was close at one point, but it's looking much better." She explained, standing up again and picking up her bag. "I need to go… but I'll see you soon?" Clara smiled and hung up, suddenly beginning to feel a lot calmer. She went back inside, hunting down Danny.

When she found him they were just serving lunch, she sat back in the chair, smiling as she did.  
"You look happier." He stated as he started eating. "You know hospital food isn't actually that bad, but I do miss your cooking." Clara raised her eyebrows at him.

"No you don't, you miss your cooking in my kitchen." He grinned a knowing smile – they both knew she was right. "You're potentially stuck with my cooking for a little while, I apologise in advance."

"I'll be begging to come back in here." Danny chuckled; Clara looked mock offended but laughed. "You want any of this?" He gestured at the plate. Clara shook her head and his face dropped.

"Don't be looking like that; I've got food with me. I also ate a crazy big omelette before I left to come here, Gran's got me sorted." He looked a little more relieved as she bought out her sandwiches. "Honestly, my head's a lot clearer now, I don't feel like I'm about to explode anymore." Clara explained. Danny smiled, eating the rest of his dinner before saying anything else.

"You know, we still have a conversation to finish…" He spoke up. Clara put down her drink and looked up to him, nodding. "I love you too." He said, taking her hands. "Not like how you end a phone call, the sign off, the pat on the back. I love you." She couldn't help but tear up. Danny pulled her closer, wiping the tears away with his good hand. "I'll never say that to anyone else either." He reached over to the remote for the bed, sitting himself up a little more. Clara sat on the edge of the bed, looking directly at him. "I know there's more, I know you had a whole speech planned and there is so much I need to know, but that's the most important thing right now." Clara couldn't hold off any longer, she leant in and hugged him as tight as she could without hurting him. He did his best to hug her back, kissing the side of her head softly. She pulled back slightly so they could kiss properly.

"All the rubbish I've put you through, and there's a lot of it, I'm sorry. I will explain it all, I will I promise. I just… I didn't know you'd heard that and… Danny the way I feel about you terrifies me sometimes. I've always been scared of getting close to people in case I lose them, and that nearly happened again. When I thought you were…" the words wouldn't come out. Clara took a deep breath before carrying on. "When I thought you'd gone, my mind went in to overdrive. It replayed that conversation over and over and over, including the woman who came on the phone after. I couldn't get rid of it and whenever I couldn't see you it was like all I could think was that it was true. When I woke up this morning I'd lost all control of it, I couldn't remember anything, I thought you were gone and that was the worst thing I've ever felt." Danny took his turn at tearing up now. Clara immediately stopped talking, not wanting to upset him.

"Coming from you that means a lot…" He said, kissing her again. "Sorry I didn't mean that but…" She shook her head.

"No, it's fine, you're right. That's what scares me, but I don't ever want to lose that." She didn't know how to explain it, but he seemed to understand.

"And I don't ever want to lose you either, so no more going crazy and trying to get yourself killed by attempting to run in to a road after me alright?" He kissed her once more. "We are going to be absolutely fine Clara Oswald, you and me; we're going to be perfect."


End file.
